my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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