let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
how do you play pong handcuffed?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
