babies were throwing up all over the place
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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