OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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