how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It was like getting head from an anaconda
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
