Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
