he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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