Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
