you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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