Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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