I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
