i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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