who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Randomize
