You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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