how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
wakey wakey hands off snakey
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize