I think I just saw someone hide a body.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
