so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
