I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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