Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
