Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
