it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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