I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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