my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
