He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
time to smoke my breakfast
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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