We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
