see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My vagina is very pro this idea
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