why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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