ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
