dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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