One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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