you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
