it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
