Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
