Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
