She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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