What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
