if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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