my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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