is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
