It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No I am not eating basil off your cock
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
