I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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