He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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