I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
