If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
