I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
