Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize