Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
