I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
