WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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