yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
