So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
