a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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