I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
