I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can't talk, ducks in the car
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
