Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Randomize