yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
