This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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