so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
