i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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