Too much gin, very little bucket
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
