you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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